I would guess that everyone has a favorite holiday. I actually have several, so when I was young, I divided them into subcategories. These were well thought out, time tested and each had their specific reasons for their placement. As an example, my favorite gift-giving holiday is Christmas followed closely by my birthday, the order determined because of the volume of gifts. My favorite non-gift-giving holiday is Halloween because I love the creativity of the costumes and it reminds me of fall, which is my favorite season. My favorite partial gift-giving holiday is Valentine's Day, as it is always fun to celebrate love. I also have least favorite holidays as well; for example, Easter is my least favorite partial gift-giving holiday because my family never got in to the extravagant gift baskets and since we went to church every Sunday my parents did not feel it was an event that necessitated a new dress. Finally, my least favorite non-gift-giving holiday has always been Thanksgiving. There are several reasons for this. Primarily, I would take ham over turkey any day, and second of all I don't like to cook. I wish I had that gene, but I just don't and my family is well aware of it. Lastly, I never understood the desire to stuff yourself to the point of misery, then of course since I don't do the meal preparation, I ultimately have the job of cleaning up, which is right up there with my disdain of cooking!
As you can see, my categorization system has always been superficial at best as I spent so much time caught up in the "celebration" of the holiday, rather than the true meaning behind most of these events. This year, however, has given me so many opportunities for gratitude that I can't express how much I welcome this season of giving thanks. What has been given to me over the past year, I don't think I could thank enough people, enough times to parlay how grateful I have been.
I think being sick for so long has made me recognize how the smallest things make such a big impact in a life. Or maybe it is the uncertainty of adversity that has us recognize the small acts of kindness, blessings we forget about or even inspirational influences of others that make us eternally grateful for the life we have been given, even with its many challenges.
You may know that my family is of the "yours, mine and ours" variety. PJ has a 17 year old son and 14 year old daughter from a previous marriage as do I with my 11 year old daughter. Kate, the two year old, is ours together although it is often that we think she is the spawn of the devil. What many may not know is that Mary, the 14 year old is autistic in the Asperger's spectrum. If you don't know, those with Asperger's are typically characterized as having significant difficulty with social interaction. They tend to be very literal, missing non-verbal cues and communicate without a filter. PJ's daughter is very high-functioning in many ways. She has good and bad subjects in school; she has Bieber "fever" with posters of the star all over her room and has moments of teenage sass that often tries my patience. But at home it is easy to forget her struggles, that is until she is placed in an unfamiliar setting or environment when her anxiety skyrockets and she completely melts down.
But our family has spent the last four years doing what we can to help her out of the isolation she sometimes creates for herself. We have encouraged her to become more engaged with girls her age, getting her more involved in church programs and trying to get her more comfortable in social settings. These girls from church are tremendous and have been nothing but kind and genuine with her. In fact, there was a church youth dance this past weekend and Mary was invited to go with a girl her age. This girl is beautiful, bubbly and kind. She invited her to come early so they could get ready together and of course...be fashionably late. Even though this young girl has many friends and her outer beauty is apparent, she showed me how beautiful she is on the inside through her selfless care of our daughter.
About an hour after they arrived at the dance, PJ got a text from the girl saying that he may need to come pick them up because our daughter was crying and didn't want to stay as she didn't know anyone and it was a loud new environment. This young girl, with plenty of friends went out of her way to comfort Mary, help her and looked after when she could have easily been embarrassed and upset when her night had been ruined. Not many teens would be more concerned with a friend who needed such care, than her own good time.
I felt horrible all night that Mary would be embarrassed and be even less willing to expand her social interactions and that her friend would also regret extending herself to the benefit of our daughter. Yet, the next morning, she came down for breakfast and I told her I was sorry she did not have a good time at her dance, and much to my surprise her response was, "it was ok...I was just nervous because it was my first dance." She went on to tell me how she was even asked to dance once. She literally beamed while she spoke of an event that many youth take for granted. You could see in her eyes how good she felt to be included in something that was age appropriate and with someone she could call a friend. As a parent, or in this case, a step parent, I was filled with such gratitude for this small act of kindness not only for this beautiful young friend, but for her parents for raising such a good influence on others. I doubt this young girl will ever realize the full impact she had on us that night.
Having never experienced the health challenges that I have endured this year, I have had my eyes opened wide to the incredible compassion of others. In a time where I have felt the least confident, the least independent and the most useless, I have been the recipient of such incredible acts of selfless kindness. I have had so many shoulders to cry on, I have had very personal gifts sent from strangers and I have been constantly reminded that people care about me, which in the toughest times have kept me going. At 40 years old, finally I have genuinely felt the importance of Thanksgiving. It is not about the food or the time off or even cleaning dirty dishes. It is the daily reminder of the blessings we have. It is the awareness of the good in others, the gratitude you can't express because a simple "thank you" would not be sufficient and it is the warmth of knowing how blessed our lives are because of the compassion of others.
This year, Thanksgiving means more to me than any of my frivolous holiday categorizations. It is my chance to remember and give thanks to you for helping me and my family through some very difficult trials. But more than anything, it is my opportunity to spend time with my family who has been my foundation to get through this long road to survive cancer. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you will have the opportunity to recognize all of those who have selflessly been there for you this year.
Have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving.
Ha Ha
Grandma: What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!
Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word.
Joey: I'm sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Changing Perspective and HARP 2.0
A few weeks ago I spoke to a very professional group of real estate agents on "Changing Perspectives...FHA is SO 2010!" A class based upon reevaluating conventional mortgage insurance as a way to drive new business. I began this class with two questions... "How many of you think that the real estate market is incredibly tough?" Most hands raised in the room. I also asked, "Has anyone ever just thought about giving up, that it may not be worth it?" Still, hands remained, even in this this room of successful and career agents. I agreed, especially in this past year, where I felt that enough was enough. I mean, the AZ mortgage and real estate market, the political landscape and if that weren't enough...breast cancer? Just like many others, I have had my "bad" days, my "feel sorry for me because I have things so tough" days. But as I told those in class, a change in my perspective was needed.
A few days prior I had a "Doctor Day", a day that my husband and I spent most of our time at doctor's appointments. Those days are more difficult as both of us work and it is challenging to get everything done.
Our first appointment was with my plastic surgeon, William Leighton, who made a name for himself in his field many years ago, but more recent his infamy came from the fact that he was the plastic surgeon to former Phoenix police officer Jason Schechterly, who was severely burned after his police cruiser blew up.
Usually, we would be done and on to the next appointment in less than 30 minutes. But that day, we were informed that Dr. Leighton would be a few minutes late as he had an emergency he had to handle in the office. As we waited, the stress of the delay began. Again, the nurses came out to apologize for the delay, and we waited. At this point, my husband and I unexpectedly had both been away from our phones and computers for close to an hour and my patience for this "emergency" had long gone and now my concern for making my next appointment grew. When the nurse finally said he would see me, I passed the "emergency" woman in the hall. She had her head wrapped, but you could see the visible stitches around her eyes and nose and the obvious swell and bruises you would expect from facial surgery.
As PJ and I walked in to the exam room, I turned to him and spitefully said, "Seriously...a face lift? That was the emergency???" And in my self-absorbed brain, I thought, really?? I have cancer and I have so much to get done in such a small amount of time, things are so hard, and it's the end of the month and clients are getting upset and stressed, now I'm going to be late for the next doctor and I am never going to get everything done!
But Dr. Leighton came right in and apologized for the delay and, before I could stop myself I said, "So...did a stitch break in her face lift?" But what I heard next will forever be a reminder to me that sometimes our perspective may be wrong, and we are in control to change it.
Dr. Leighton said to me, "Oh, I have to tell you about that woman, she is so incredible." He told us a story about how he had missed a flight, and while he was stuck waiting he happened to sit next to this woman who had severe burns all over her face. They chatted and he finally asked her what had happened. She described how her family returned from vacation and she went to start dinner. With her children in tow, she went to the kitchen and turned on the stove. Unbeknownst to her, the regulator had broken and the stove blew up in their faces. One child was sent to Shriner's in Boston, the other in Houston and she was treated at home in Tucson. Amazed by her story, Dr. Leighton asked her how many more surgeries she had left, but to his surprise she said, "Oh no, I am done. We have tapped out our insurance and they won't pay anymore." So he gave her his card and told her, "When you get back home, call me."
I already felt horrible for my terrible attitude and outlook that I possessed just minutes earlier, but Dr. Leighton continued. This woman did in fact call and as he put it, "it was the coolest thing!" He used "expanders", just like I have now, but he put them in her neck to stretch her skin enough to be able to cut away the burn and pull her new "expanded" skin up to be stitched under her eyes, ears and mouth, hence why she looked as if she had a face lift. He excitedly continued, as if I could not feel worse, that he had been able to get the expander company, the hospital, the anesthesiologist and of course himself to donate their time and facilities to help this woman he met solely because he had missed his flight. He told us her bandages had been removed the day before but one of her stitches that held up her cheek broke, thus the emergency that morning.
So I sat there, uncomfortable and sore as the doctor injected saline into my own expanders to stretch my skin enough to eventually hold the implants in place and I thought about how good I had it. I was embarrassed about how quick I had let such insignificant irritants affect my entire mood. It was so easy to fall into the "poor me" negativity and attitude. At that moment, however, my perspective changed. I sat there and thought about how much a delayed flight had meant to this woman's life, and how incredibly lucky I was.
Understand that what I have endured has not been easy. Breast cancer is difficult. There are horrible days. Days that I don't get out of bed or want to. It made me sick. It continues to hurt. It forced me to think about things that I don't want to have to think about. It has been very hard for my supportive family. My husband should be the one with the moniker of "Survivor" for all he has had to go through. But that morning while I sat at my surgeon's office, I realized how much good I had around me. I was given the chance to have my perspective changed, and I took it.
We face so many challenges in life; at home, at work, the aggravations seem so important and horrible that we evaluate everything from that viewpoint. Yet, somehow we survived. When I look back, I see so many of my struggles were temporary. They were just bumps in the road. Granted, some bumps have felt like my muffler was ripped off, but bumps just the same. Nonetheless, as hard as it was to see through these difficulties, I should have used those occasions to find opportunities, to learn, to grow, to prosper and often to impact others in positive ways.
So I make this challenge to each of you as I did to the real estate group that day. How can you change your perspective to recognize hidden opportunities for good? With so many difficulties that surround us day to day, I believe we can make an impact in our personal and professional lives with even the slightest change in our perspective.
I hope you have a great and prosperous weekend. Please let me know if I can be of assistance to you or your clients.
A Life-Preserver for Those with Underwater Mortgages
Is This for Real? Understanding the Options to Refinance
The Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA), with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, had announced a series of changes to the Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP) in an effort to attract more eligible borrowers who can benefit from refinancing their home mortgage, ie those homeowner's who are "underwater" by more than 125%. HARP 2.0 as it has been aptly named, has the potential to help thousands of homeowner's in Arizona who can afford their homes and who have made their payments and who could free up cash-flow through a refinance.
Although lenders are not expected to be able to offer the program (through the Automated Underwriting System) until December 1, guidelines detailing the program have been promised on November 15th by the agencies. One thing to remember is based upon earlier details...YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO REFINANCE THROUGH YOUR CURRENT SERVICER. The expectation of the industry is that Arizona will be a major recipient of those who intend to use the program, so my suggestion is to contact me as soon as possible with your contact information and address to make sure you are in line before the pipelines get clogged. Your current loan MUST be a FNMA or FHLMC owned loan originated prior to May 31, 2009 to qualify for this program.
But don't forget that if you or your clients have an FHA or VA loan that is underwater, there are also programs available that do not require appraisals that take advantage of the low interest rates.
Ha Ha
Forest Gump had a near-death experience that changed him forever. He went horseback riding one day and everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get any worse, his foot became caught in the stirrup. When this happened, he fell head first to the ground. His head continued to bounce harder as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness ... a thoughtful K-Mart manager came out and pulled the plug.
A few days prior I had a "Doctor Day", a day that my husband and I spent most of our time at doctor's appointments. Those days are more difficult as both of us work and it is challenging to get everything done.
Our first appointment was with my plastic surgeon, William Leighton, who made a name for himself in his field many years ago, but more recent his infamy came from the fact that he was the plastic surgeon to former Phoenix police officer Jason Schechterly, who was severely burned after his police cruiser blew up.
Usually, we would be done and on to the next appointment in less than 30 minutes. But that day, we were informed that Dr. Leighton would be a few minutes late as he had an emergency he had to handle in the office. As we waited, the stress of the delay began. Again, the nurses came out to apologize for the delay, and we waited. At this point, my husband and I unexpectedly had both been away from our phones and computers for close to an hour and my patience for this "emergency" had long gone and now my concern for making my next appointment grew. When the nurse finally said he would see me, I passed the "emergency" woman in the hall. She had her head wrapped, but you could see the visible stitches around her eyes and nose and the obvious swell and bruises you would expect from facial surgery.
As PJ and I walked in to the exam room, I turned to him and spitefully said, "Seriously...a face lift? That was the emergency???" And in my self-absorbed brain, I thought, really?? I have cancer and I have so much to get done in such a small amount of time, things are so hard, and it's the end of the month and clients are getting upset and stressed, now I'm going to be late for the next doctor and I am never going to get everything done!
But Dr. Leighton came right in and apologized for the delay and, before I could stop myself I said, "So...did a stitch break in her face lift?" But what I heard next will forever be a reminder to me that sometimes our perspective may be wrong, and we are in control to change it.
Dr. Leighton said to me, "Oh, I have to tell you about that woman, she is so incredible." He told us a story about how he had missed a flight, and while he was stuck waiting he happened to sit next to this woman who had severe burns all over her face. They chatted and he finally asked her what had happened. She described how her family returned from vacation and she went to start dinner. With her children in tow, she went to the kitchen and turned on the stove. Unbeknownst to her, the regulator had broken and the stove blew up in their faces. One child was sent to Shriner's in Boston, the other in Houston and she was treated at home in Tucson. Amazed by her story, Dr. Leighton asked her how many more surgeries she had left, but to his surprise she said, "Oh no, I am done. We have tapped out our insurance and they won't pay anymore." So he gave her his card and told her, "When you get back home, call me."
I already felt horrible for my terrible attitude and outlook that I possessed just minutes earlier, but Dr. Leighton continued. This woman did in fact call and as he put it, "it was the coolest thing!" He used "expanders", just like I have now, but he put them in her neck to stretch her skin enough to be able to cut away the burn and pull her new "expanded" skin up to be stitched under her eyes, ears and mouth, hence why she looked as if she had a face lift. He excitedly continued, as if I could not feel worse, that he had been able to get the expander company, the hospital, the anesthesiologist and of course himself to donate their time and facilities to help this woman he met solely because he had missed his flight. He told us her bandages had been removed the day before but one of her stitches that held up her cheek broke, thus the emergency that morning.
So I sat there, uncomfortable and sore as the doctor injected saline into my own expanders to stretch my skin enough to eventually hold the implants in place and I thought about how good I had it. I was embarrassed about how quick I had let such insignificant irritants affect my entire mood. It was so easy to fall into the "poor me" negativity and attitude. At that moment, however, my perspective changed. I sat there and thought about how much a delayed flight had meant to this woman's life, and how incredibly lucky I was.
Understand that what I have endured has not been easy. Breast cancer is difficult. There are horrible days. Days that I don't get out of bed or want to. It made me sick. It continues to hurt. It forced me to think about things that I don't want to have to think about. It has been very hard for my supportive family. My husband should be the one with the moniker of "Survivor" for all he has had to go through. But that morning while I sat at my surgeon's office, I realized how much good I had around me. I was given the chance to have my perspective changed, and I took it.
We face so many challenges in life; at home, at work, the aggravations seem so important and horrible that we evaluate everything from that viewpoint. Yet, somehow we survived. When I look back, I see so many of my struggles were temporary. They were just bumps in the road. Granted, some bumps have felt like my muffler was ripped off, but bumps just the same. Nonetheless, as hard as it was to see through these difficulties, I should have used those occasions to find opportunities, to learn, to grow, to prosper and often to impact others in positive ways.
So I make this challenge to each of you as I did to the real estate group that day. How can you change your perspective to recognize hidden opportunities for good? With so many difficulties that surround us day to day, I believe we can make an impact in our personal and professional lives with even the slightest change in our perspective.
I hope you have a great and prosperous weekend. Please let me know if I can be of assistance to you or your clients.
A Life-Preserver for Those with Underwater Mortgages
Is This for Real? Understanding the Options to Refinance
The Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA), with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, had announced a series of changes to the Home Affordable Refinance Program (HARP) in an effort to attract more eligible borrowers who can benefit from refinancing their home mortgage, ie those homeowner's who are "underwater" by more than 125%. HARP 2.0 as it has been aptly named, has the potential to help thousands of homeowner's in Arizona who can afford their homes and who have made their payments and who could free up cash-flow through a refinance.
Although lenders are not expected to be able to offer the program (through the Automated Underwriting System) until December 1, guidelines detailing the program have been promised on November 15th by the agencies. One thing to remember is based upon earlier details...YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO REFINANCE THROUGH YOUR CURRENT SERVICER. The expectation of the industry is that Arizona will be a major recipient of those who intend to use the program, so my suggestion is to contact me as soon as possible with your contact information and address to make sure you are in line before the pipelines get clogged. Your current loan MUST be a FNMA or FHLMC owned loan originated prior to May 31, 2009 to qualify for this program.
But don't forget that if you or your clients have an FHA or VA loan that is underwater, there are also programs available that do not require appraisals that take advantage of the low interest rates.
Ha Ha
Forest Gump had a near-death experience that changed him forever. He went horseback riding one day and everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get any worse, his foot became caught in the stirrup. When this happened, he fell head first to the ground. His head continued to bounce harder as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness ... a thoughtful K-Mart manager came out and pulled the plug.
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